The ability to communicate is an issue for me. At any given moment I have thousands of thoughts, ideas and emotions swirling around by being, and each of those exposes me to thousands of alternative unrealities.  While I quite enjoy spending time in these unrealities, the truth is the unlimited potential of random thought often means that reality stagnates. As soon as you make real life decisions with real life consequences, those thousands of unrealities come crashing down. when you take refuge in unreality, then real life becomes an enemy.

And that’s where communication becomes difficult. A thousand unrealities are not easy to express, earless and introverted journaling helps to order and expose, but not to communicate.

I suppose I’m trying to explain my silence since my return. It’s not just busyness or needing time to adjust. It’s that’s in returning, I lost the luxury of observing  from a safe distance, of living in a self-created unrealities inspired by the brand new raw data received from living cross culturally. And yet conversely, without the structure and direction that my thousand thoughts were able to wrap themselves around, they are free to go in all sorts of directions.

I miss Kurdistan.